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HE2006: Nothing in Life is Free

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by Josh Ray on June 02 '06

So there was a free lunch for the press yesterday. You know, be one of the first 200 audio press to pick up your badge and you get a free lunch! 200 audio press? Who are they joking. 20% of the seats were empty.

As you know, nothing in life is ever free. Oh, the food was great, but as you're stuffing away the last forkful of white truffle pheasant, you hear a mic check, see a projector kick on and watch a man climb onto the stage and begin to talk about god-knows what. Those trickers! They lured me with free food into a lecture nightmare!

And, god, it was so, so boring. But I thought maybe it is just me. You know, the uncultured iPod punk not appreciating the finer points of black and white television S-curves. Nope, everyone was in the same state. It's like geometry 101 all over again. Eyes glazed over, ears tightly shut, mind wondering if bread knives can cut arteries.

And then my phone rang. I stood up, answered and was like, "what's that? OH MY GOD! STAY THERE! I'M COMING RIGHT NOW!" I grabbed my gear and headed for the door. People around me were thinking "lucky bastard, why can't I have a life emergency right now."

Little did they know my friend just arrived and was wandering around the lobby lost. Critical emergency, I know, but you can't let a perfect mid-lecture escape opportunity like that pass you by. Moral of the story, only take free food from strangers, because you never know what hideous trap free grub will get you into at an audio convention.

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