Because Alcohol Makes Everything Sound Good

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by Josh Ray on June 26 '06

 Wp-Content Uploads 2006 06 Cl-Sound-Machine

You know what they say: drink until it sounds good. Truer words were never spoken. The CucumberLab Sound Machine has an iPod dock, 5 disc CD player, turntable, horn speaker w/ 200 watts, 8" subwoofer and, most importantly, a rack for 12 bottles of your favorite bev. Frequency range is a respectable 45Hz to 25kHz (+/- 30 dB, I imagine) and the sound, after one bottle, is described as "oh god, where's the bathroom?!?"

You know, I'm thinking the desire for bizarre iPod sound systems should burn out in a couple years. At that point, people may actually start making products where the freaky feature is "good sound" instead of "gets you plastered." Actually, I'm just hoping some major audiophile shelving company starts integrating wine racks into their products. Audio and alcohol, two great tastes together at last. Story via Oh Gizmo.


Josh, don't drink alcohol. It's a carcinogenic/mutagenic poison that likely has a degenerative effect on one's hearing health as well. I suppose that this sound machine can be used to hold bottles of Turkish grape juice (it's made with grape skins and seeds).
Alcohol consumption can damage hearing 'For each unit of further alcohol consumption, the absolute amount of nerves damaged for both kinds of drinkers is the same,' he said. 'However, the relative change of brain damage and subsequent further degradation of the hearing performance in the brainstem due to alcohol consumption will be significantly higher for drinkers with lower life-long alcohol consumption than for those with high life-long alcohol consumption.'(...) The bottom line, she added, is that 'even an amount of alcohol consumption which is normally accepted by society can have a damaging effect on the auditory system.' Aw, crap. Can't fathom going cold turkey on my occassional single malt indulgence. But the prospect of losing hearing over time does suck even more. What to do...
I wonder which grape sounds best.
Moby grape.
Touche, henryp.